Welcome to my office. I've tried to clean it up in here but unfortunately I'm addicted to oversharing. Bear in mind that, while some things are shrouded in metaphor and hyperbole, everything I say about myself is true. And please, keep judgements to yourself. Continuing on...
Listen, friend... I know.
Here's the part where I tell you my life story, right?
Well, all you really need to know is that I wasn't always this way.
I used to be a deeply lost individual...
Someone with no drive, no purpose, no future.
Then, in my darkest hour...oh, I'll just skip over all this--
Yeah, yeah, SEIZED UP IN THE SPIRIT...and shown the way, of course...
No, exactly who told me this isn't important. I simply obtained powerful abilities
...and became completely insane.
I am now a servant of random-osity and unpredictable whim. It's pretty okay. Anyway...
I already told you my names, fool. I'm Dirk. Or TK etc etc in case you already forgot. Full name - Dirk TeleKinesis "Diederik" Rue Gmail XP Xenon Zydrate Shadow Nitrous ****** D.E.X Chase Broseph Rainbowdash West G. Spamton. Don't call me all those things
I am an adult man and I'm basically what happens when you make a cat walk on two legs and teach it to talk--and many other things that would take hours to explain. Most relevantly I'm a fictional introject of Dirk Strider from Homestuck (...et cetera) and a DID system host. If you MUST refer to me then please use IT or HE.
My current occupation is professional acquirer of SLACK , as is my duty, which puts me above traditional employment. Aside from that, I'm studying to be a psychologist and I hope to enter private practice in the future. As of now I am unpaid scary internet man who talks to you about things you don't care about. DNI if you are good at completing tasks and/or your hobbies
I have a variety of interests , most of which are abstract and unclear. I've taken the time to categorize most of them but I'll be brief and condense them into LIKES/DISLIKES...
LIKES: pathopsychology, hauntology, adult cartoons, speedrunning, advertising, YTP, horses, bugs (partial to centipedes and millipedes), paranormal phenomena, 5th and 6th generation video game consoles, Crash Twinsanity, psionics, AND MORE...
DISLIKES: every single iPhone, average temperatures over 75F, the wii
The longest ongoing media fixation ive ever had continues to be Crash Bandicoot and probably always will be. That's just how it is. My interests move and change a lot, so if you follow me on Tumblr you'll be able to track them efficiently.
I have no true form, and if I did it would probably be completely incomprehensible to even me, but hopefully this website illustrates some things about myself you didn't know before. Here are some fast facts I couldn't fit into the other categories:
I collect CDs and outdated tech in my free time. I am known to be capable of seeing other dimensions but only sometimes. I'm a furry on technicality but I'm more like a werewolf. I am romantically interested in inanimate objects. I own three fake alien skulls and I hope to one day own a real one. I have seventeen posters on my wall and counting. I'm not white. I have a grudge against oysters
Speaking of being a creature:
Behold my "true form" - Funny Animal. I look like this.
Take a button. No, really, I insist. Take it. Shoves it into your hands
